Medication

So, when you go to a doctor, one of the first things that most of them will tell you (That is of course after the well, what's your problem...Here you need more shots) they almost always give you medicine. It's like the world craves on popping pills. But yet, it's because they believe that people should be better on medication

But really, think about it. When you take medicine you build up tolerance to this certain drug, and if you need it again, what do you do. Get more of that drug. Just like a drug addict, you constantly need more and more to satisfy your need. And then, what happens when they take it away? Jitters.

Also, if they put you on medication. The one magical thing no one ever tells you about. Side effects. You take a drug for one of them. Then the next thing that you know. You have to take another drug for the side effect that you got from that particular drug that you got. And as the cycle continues, you end up taking at least 15 different kinds of pills, feeling stressed and fat. Though I'm like 107 pounds...So I guess it ended up going the other way.

I come from a long time of anti-doctor people though. So, I might be tainted by my family ;)

College Thoughts

So, as a Junior, I have started college visiting. And as a clinically depressed over anxious person, this probably would have been humorous to see. Well, actually, probably not. As I was so tired, I wasn't able to feel depressed or anxious. (This should please my friends, mother and therapist.)

But these past two days (Or the mini adventure as my mum liked to call it) was actually kinda fun. I felt for the first time, that I was able to take charge and say that I enjoyed a place, or I didn't. And I have the ability in choosing to go to this place in which I should be able to call my home for several years. Or less, or more depending on the way it goes.

Thing that bothers me about college though? I want that adventure and rush feeling of trying something different. And you know what? Minnesota just ain't doing that for me. So I wanna go out of state. Everyone response to this statement? "So, you wanna be away from your family huh?" NO! I love my family so much that it is kinda ridiculous! I'm probably so attached to them I may cry myself to sleep at night for a while because of the needing to give hugs like we always do. I need that rush! I need to say "I went on an adventure. And now the real world isn't scary!"

For a high school student. The real world is terrifying. Well, I can't speak for everyone, but for me personally, the thought of having to try and survive with predators trying to take advantage of you at every turn makes me nervous. I don't wanna be thrown into a corner at some campus and get continually raped! (You laugh at this sound of this. But I was lectured by a lady one Saturday for a good hour about how this would happen to me if I went to far away from home)

Stupid real world...Stupid college...I just wanna be smiling in ten years. I don't care if I'm the leading doctor of the greatest hospital ever, or the harpist (preferable on the harpist part) for the New York or Chicago Symphony! Just keep me smiling